When conflict arises, and when an incident disturbs our peace of mind, we have choices. We can turn the conflict over and over in the mind, our thoughts spinning ever tighter, like the bands inside a golf ball, as anxiety increases. We can attempt to forget it, just toss the betrayal over the fence. Both of these choices close us down. A part of the mind constricts. If we follow the first course of action, obsessing about the incident, we can lose sleep, we can be distracted from our work, and we can distance ourselves from our intimates. Eventually, the knotted ball of pain is internalized in the body, joining in with a chronic tension in the shoulders or neck, [...]